expectations of love: the disappointing reality

Written by Solarie

Image courtesy of @toshiasan

Occasionally, I catch myself feeling as if I have nothing else going on other than my romantic life. You may say that I’ve regressed, but I used to think it was sad that most teenage girls’ adolescence revolved around finding their first love: it’s every girls’ dream, the cliche in every movie, the thing we long for most. Now I realize that dating is a huge part of life, and that shouldn’t be considered sad, or‘ a waste of time.’ In your life you’ll have plenty of platonic relationships, but you only have one great love. Someone you share your life with: ups, downs, problems and all. They take you and your baggage, all the good and all the bad you have to share with them. This is someone you’ll always have a seat beside, a place next to in bed. That is so uniquely special in every aspect.Suddenly, I don’t blame them for spending their lives looking for it. Suddenly, I agree with every poet, every stupid little romance movie I used to say was awful and unrealistic. Suddenly, I want to spend forever with a person. Now I’ve been able to wear my heart on my sleeve, open my heart and make room for another.

Maybe I’ll grow out of it, maybe these teenage boys will wear me down enough to give me a realistic view on love. Sometimes I wish it was like the olden times, because there are these expectations that boys these days can’t seem to meet. We try to find proper men who want wives, not hookups, real men who treat you like you’re more than just your body, but here I am, stuck with late night Snapchats from boys who want to talk about body counts and what women should be like, not love letters sent from beyond the oceans that separate us. I’m clinging on to the bare minimum from the guy I had to convince myself was good enough for me, and it’s slowly breaking down each standard I have.