bigger person

Written by Paige Kent

Image courtesy of @leckydoodles

Why must I always be the bigger person? Forgive and forget. To take hardship with stride and brush off all the men who wronged me. Throughout my life, I have been told to walk away,to brush it off, to“ be the bigger person.” Be the person who chooses the non-confrontational life and move on. I try my hardest to take that path, but it does not come naturally to me. When someone barks, I want to bite back. When a man tries to talk down to me, my gut reaction is to scream back. It is exhausting to choose to be the“ bigger person” time and time again.

Men can bitch and moan and be petty. My ex can call me a“ crazy bitch”, while I have to tell people“ we just grew apart”. Of course, he can get away with that. While I am loud and headstrong, he is introverted and awkward. Therefore, he is seen as a‘ good guy’, and if he says I’m a bitch well... I must’ve had it coming. I have to keep my truth closer to my chest in fear of earning the crazy bitch title. Silence is deafening, but it still annoys me to no end. He is free to speak with no consequence. I am not allowed that same luxury.

As women, we walk on this tightrope balancing societal pressures to be overly emotional but graceful, crazy but gentle, bitchy but motherly... the contradictions run on. However I respond to the world throwing things at me, I can’t help but feel I am playing into these stereotypes. I am so over this pressure because all the men who’ve wronged me haven’t given a FUCK about the consequences of their words.

My main frustration with this system lies in a question: Does being the bigger person always mean to walk away? Or does it simply mean rising to the occasion and defending your peace.