WHO IS THE ‘ROCKSTAR GIRLFRIEND’?
Written by Steph Stone
INTRODUCTION:
When we think of the word‘ groupie’, one common image probably comes to the collective mind- that of a young girl who has been swept away by a famous and much older rock star to join him on the road and eventually get her heart broken when he’s noncommittal; but the stereotypes and the general societal view of what groupies are and what it means to be one have changed drastically over the decades that the term has been in wide use. In the 1960s, these fans were screaming from barricades and putting up posters in phenomena such as Beatlemania. In the 70s and 80s, the groupie was following around famous rock musicians with or without the hope of sleeping with them at the end of the night. Today, the term groupie has come back into popularity, but this time less in its literal sense of following bands or establishing personal relationships with them, and more in an aesthetic sense. Along with the evolution of the term groupie, there is also an evolution of relationships and what’s deemed okay, moral or just a normal social practice. This article will show the transitions of the term into a fashion craze, social media persona, and its reemergence with the term ‘rockstar girlfriend’, as well as look into how groupies are represented throughout the term’s history and what it means for the relationships they represent using examples such as relationships involving Elvis and Iggy Pop.
I: LANA DEL REY, ‘ROCKSTAR GIRLFRIENDS’ AND MUSES
Social media has contributed immensely to the popularization of groupie culture to a current young audience and its comeback as an image in fashion. People like Suki Waterhouse and Devon Carlson have made dating popular musicians, wearing designer outfits to all of their shows, and traveling around the world with all of their famous friends into a highly sought after lifestyle. For most people, this lifestyle is almost impossible to attain, but that doesn’t stop young people on social media from posting pictures in outfits reminiscent of the punk aesthetic and flaunting whenever they get the chance to travel or go to a concert. Many popular social media personalities have taken advantage of this trend and posted pictures such as these to their profiles, both celebrities and non-celebrities alike.
Lana Del Rey has become a big part of this aesthetic and a big inspiration for a lot of the people participating in this side of social media, mainly because of her look, which she purposefully heavily based on Priscilla Presley, and because of her music. A slow progression mixed with her low, sultry voice combine to create very sensual-feeling tracks, which in turn serves to romanticize whatever sad or harmful story she’s trying to portray. Her song “Groupie Love '' especially displays this modern, idealized image of the groupie: the glamorous and heavily romanticized idea of a girl with cool, thrifted clothes, elegantly smoking a cigarette backstage at a show on the arm of her gorgeous and famous boyfriend. Some of the lines that display this are in the second verse when Rey sings:
It's so sweet pourin' you a drink
And pretendin' that nothin' means anything
This is my life, you by my side
Key lime and perfume and festivals
Taking our dreams, turning them to things
It's like magic, babe, isn't life wonderful?
The lines do hint at something deeper and not as glamorous or happy under the surface of the groupie image, but it doesn’t go into depth on exactly what that could be. We know that it’s probably related to manipulation, assault or drug abuse based on the stories told by past groupies, some of which will be discussed in the preceding sections, but Rey doesn't go into detail about any of these things, allowing listeners to be swept away by this image of an ideal life without considering its myriad consequences.
This new version of the groupie or rockstar girlfriend is also obsessed with being the muse of a musical artist; girls want songs written about them to tell all their friends and make other people jealous of their fabulous life, even if their life isn’t as it seems. Cameron Crowe’s 2000 film Almost Famous partly serves as a warning for the groupie lifestyle. Crowe depicts Penny Lane, a young girl who gets involved with rockstars, joining them on tour across the country and seeming from the outside like she’s living the life so many people think they want for themselves. As the film progresses, however, we see her facade slowly crack to show how beaten down and mistreated she is by the musicians and people she surrounds herself with. At the beginning of the film, Penny and lead singer Russell seem to be completely infatuated with each other, but by the end of the movie, we see Russel attempting to trade Penny for “twelve dollars and a pack of beer” during a game of cards, which sends her into a massive breakdown (Crowe, 2000). Penny is used as one of the main sources of inspiration and what it means to be a modern-day groupie. In fashion, life and personality, Penny is who many aspire to be. One of Penny’s lines in the film perfectly sums up both her character and this version of the groupie ideal- “I always tell the girls never take it seriously. If you never take it seriously, you never get hurt. If you never get hurt, you always have fun.” (Crowe, 2000). “Not taking it seriously” in this case sometimes means brushing off manipulative and even dangerous actions, something current-day groupies are trying to end.
Another main source of the iconic groupie fashion and lifestyle which is drawn upon today is that of one of the most famous groupies Pamela Des Barres and her memoir I’m With the Band (Des Barres, 2018). The group of people today who want to become more immersed in what it means to be a groupie have taken a lot of inspiration from Des Barres and her life as described in her books. This doesn’t do much to deter anyone from pursuing the groupie lifestyle, rather encourages a lot of people to continue moving towards it, as the book portrays a largely positive outlook on the experiences Des Barres had in multiple years of being a groupie. The book gives the impression that as long as you speak up about the things you don’t want to do, there’s nothing wrong and nothing to be worried about. Pamela’s stories include her experiences with Mick Jagger, Jim Morrison, as well as the artists listed in the coming sections associated with Sable Star and Lorie Mattix. Des Barres depicts these encounters as anecdotes of her crushes and first loves as a teenager, just like anybody else’s, and doesn’t mention aspects of the story that would paint the artists she mentions in a bad light. She says she continued to have a good relationship with all of the musicians she’s been involved with, allowing their actions relating to sexual assault to be largely muted in the context and conversation surrounding the book (Des Barres, 2018). While looking back fondly on her youth is entirely Des Barres’ prerogative, and acknowledging that Des Barres may not have had any bad or traumatic experiences herself, it isn’t fair to readers to have almost an entirely positive view on the subject and fail to mention all of the things that could be very dangerous to other people who are interested in living a similar life to the one Des Barres led in her youth.
It’s cultural phenomena such as Penny Lane and Lana Del Rey which largely contribute to the resurgence of groupies as an image rather than a literal lifestyle. The term groupie as a fashion sense has become increasingly popular as images of people like Pattie Boyd and Courtney Love have begun to circulate on social media, and young women have started using these images to shape their fashion. This has evolved even further today as a style known as the ‘rockstar girlfriend’. In the world of social media regarding the rockstar girlfriend, very few are actually living the lifestyle it exhibits, mostly, the people involved with the term are using it purely as a way of dressing and presenting themselves to their social media following. This is allowing the stigma around groupies to be largely quieted on social media and many of its issues to be swept under the rug as many young women and girls merely look into images and try to recreate the cool clothes without educating themselves on the further implications of the lifestyle they are inserting themselves into.
II: ‘YOUR POWER’ AND ITS INSPIRATION
As much as there are songs about a life of parties, drugs and famous boyfriends being glamorous, there are also many songs about being in relationships with famous male musicians that proved to be harmful, manipulative, and left the younger woman without any friends, money and/or prospects while not affecting the older man in the relationship at all, and, in some cases, even catapulting his fame further. Multiple women who are now extremely well-known in the music industry were in relationships when they were first rising to fame with men whom they were fans of; men who were much older and more established than them in the industry at the time. And some of these women have gone on to write music about these experiences to bring awareness for how they and other young women are taken advantage of with the promises of fame and money. This is seen when Phoebe Bridgers sang “you were in a band when I was born” in her song “Motion Sickness”(Bridgers, 2017). Another example is Taylor Swift singing “I’ll get older but your lovers stay my age” in her song “All Too Well” (Swift, 2012). But perhaps the most telling example of this is Billie Eilish’s “Your Power”, which in part says-
She said you were a hero, you played the part
But you ruined her in a year, don't act like it was hard
And you swear you didn't know (didn't know)
No wonder why you didn't ask
She was sleeping in your clothes (in your clothes)
But now she's got to get to class
I thought that I was special, you made me feel
Like it was my fault you were the devil, lost your appeal
Does it keep you in control? (In control)
For you to keep her in a cage?
And you swear you didn't know (didn't know)
You said you thought she was your age (Eilish, 2023).
The song is about a young woman being taken advantage of by someone who is well-known, well-loved and much older than her. The subject of the song (a past version of Eilish herself) was made to feel like a lot of the problems in the relationship were her fault because of the power that this man had over her. The song is also a warning to young girls to be careful and not idolize people that they are fans of. These issues are further perpetuated by the lack of protocol in music contracts regarding what should be done when these types of allegations come up. Meaning there’s nothing stopping a musician’s manager or label from sweeping issues like sexual assault allegations under the rug and facing little to no consequence while their fame continues to grow.
“Your Power” has become even more relevant recently as Elish has entered a relationship with Jesse Rutherford of the band The Neighborhood, whom she met when he was twenty three and she was only thirteen. Jesse Rutherford previously dated Devon Carlson (mentioned above) and has seen some controversy from fans over his relationship with Eilish, but overall his career hasn’t suffered. Rutherford therefor links both sides of the current groupie conversation as his previous girlfriend was a key figure in boosting the rockstar girlfriend aesthetic into the mainstream via her successful Instagram and Youtube channel, and his next girlfriend raising concerns similar to those that are talked about with “baby groupies” (people who have sexual relation with musicians usually from ages 12-15) such as Sable Starr and Lorie Mattix about manipulation surrounding age gaps and fan behavior in these musician’s relationships.
III: #METOO AND ARTIST ACCOUNTABILITY
These trends of famous older men not facing consequences for their exploitation of younger women were happening even up to just a few years ago upon the release of Motley Crue’s biographical film The Dirt in 2019, when Nikki Sixx could claim that he “pretty much” raped a drunk woman and faced no repercussions to his career (Tremaine, 2019). This lack of accountability has been getting less and less common, however, with the publication of every proven or unproven allegation against a celebrity on social media and in tabloids.
In the article “‘I Wouldn’t Want This for Anybody’s Daughter’: Will #Metoo Kill Off the Rock n’ Roll Groupie?”, it is described that now, because of social media, any artist can and will get slandered and lose a large portion of their fan base because of any number of harmful actions against others such as rape, sending unsolicited nude photos, flirting with minors, etc.(Gallier, 2018). Bands like Brand New and Maroon 5 specifically have experienced this, but Iggy Pop could sing about sleeping with a thirteen year old and at the time nobody seemed to care or want to help her. In his 1996 song “Look Away”, Iggy Pop explicitly states “I slept with Sable when she was thirteen” (Pop, 1996). Sable was a real person and Iggy Pop used her real name, and beyond that, the statement was completely true, yet it didn’t do anything to hinder Iggy Pop’s career. It was also a very well-known occurrence that, in the 1950s-70s, Elvis would perform a show and afterward, point to the member of the audience he wanted brought up to his room and have a member of his staff go retrieve the lucky girl. These girls were obviously excited to even be noticed by Elvis and didn’t question the morality of what was happening or why he was able to sleep with practically anyone he wanted at a moment’s notice (Williamson, 2015).
Sable Starr was one of the most famous groupies in California in the 1970s along with Lorie Mattix, and slept with multiple famous musicians such as Iggy Pop, Robert Plant, Jimmy Page, and David Bowie while she was between the ages of twelve and fourteen. Up until recently, their behavior was largely seen as rebellious and irresponsible on their own accounts. Almost all of the criticisms of their lifestyles were about things that they shouldn’t have been doing. Only recently has the conversation shifted to be more about what the grown men who were seducing them shouldn’t have been doing and the consequences they should have faced for these behaviors.
Social media is being used by victims of sexual assault to share their stories, be believed, and gain support in hopes that maybe the trend of these predatory men not facing any sort of consequences for their actions can come to an end. In the article, Roxana Shirazi, a former groupie, says “It’s never possible to have full agency [as a groupie] … From the outset, the power structure is not equal. They’re famous, and, unless you’re famous yourself, you’re not on the same plane.” about her relationship with Guns N’ Roses keyboardist, Dizzy Reed (Gallier, 2018). This is very similar to how Bridgers, Eilish, and Swift described their experiences. As long as you're a fan, you’re not an equal and can and will be taken advantage of. And at its core, a groupie is a fan, the most dedicated fan. This sets them up for some immensely harmful failures.
Fans are becoming more and more strict about artists addressing their stance on these issues as time goes by. As one musician said in the article from The Guardian “‘When I meet fans now, the conversation isn’t: ‘I really love your band, It’s: ‘Please don’t do anything wrong.’”(Gallier, 2014). This means that the musicians have started seeing the ramifications of these types of actions on themselves and others, even when they’ve done nothing wrong. The addressing of these issues is now more or less expected from fans and if artists disregard them they are seen largely as a bad person. That being said, there are still people who believe in separating the art from the artist and don’t mind continuing to support people with sexual assault allegations towards them, but on the whole, the conversation is changing, and, especially at concert venues, music is focused on the fan’s safety now more than ever. And while this new outlook will inevitably serve to bring some artists down from the peaks of their careers, the true focus is to keep fans (mainly young women) safe.
The progression of time and social norms has, in turn, shifted the overall view of groupies by society. From having a largely negative view, seeing them as rebellious, irresponsible girls with no care for their health or future, to having the term fall heavily out of use, the term has seen generational differences in its meaning and perception. Now more than ever, the view of the groupie is becoming one of protectiveness. The conversation around groupie culture has become more about keeping these girls safe and holding the musicians accountable, which could start serving very well for the acceptance and overall wider use of the term. From Elvis to Iggy Pop to Jesse Rutherford, the attention from fans and now social media is changing the relationship dynamics and turning public opinion against musicians.
When we think of the word‘ groupie’, one common image probably comes to the collective mind- that of a young girl who has been swept away by a famous and much older rockstar to join him on the road and eventually get her heart broken when he’s noncommittal; but the stereotypes and the general societal view of what groupies are and what it means to be one have changed drastically over the decades that the term has been in wide use. In the 1960s, these fans were screaming from barricades and putting up posters in phenomena such as Beatlemania. In the 70s and 80s, the groupie was following around famous rock musicians with or without the hope of sleeping with them at the end of the night. Today, the term groupie has come back into popularity, but this time less in its literal sense of following bands or establishing personal relationships with them, and more in an aesthetic sense. Along with the evolution of the term groupie, there is also an evolution of relationships and what’s deemed okay, moral or just a normal social practice. This article will show the transitions of the term into a fashion craze, social media persona, and its reemergence with the term ‘rockstar girlfriend’, as well as look into how groupies are represented throughout the term’s history and what it means for the relationships they represent using examples such as relationships involving Elvis and Iggy Pop.
