say it to my face
Written by Ella Herrera
No. I won’t just“ change schools”, I thought in response to an ass who anonymously expressed his ableism to me on YikYak. If you’re not familiar with the forum, it’s an anonymous app that functions in a Twitter-like way. One person posts something to the board, people can upvote or downvote, and comments often roll in. The special thing about this app is, it’s community based, so everyone at my university is on it.
Obviously, this is the perfect space for rude assholes to air out their frustrations on marginalized communities.
If you live in Eugene, Oregon, you probably know it’s seen as“ embarrassing” to use an umbrella here. Where did this rule come from, you might ask… the truth is, I don’t care! It seems like doing the“ protective” thing has always been seen as uncool, whether you’re using a helmet on your skateboard, knee pads on rollerblades, or a damn umbrella when it’s raining.
So, someone on YikYak the other day posted a harmless question,“ why are so many of y’all using umbrellas today? you won’t melt in this drizzle.” I have no issue there; they have the right to their opinion on umbrellas. What really got me was the responses to my comment on it. Before I tell you, let me share what the other comments were, and their corresponding upvotes (essentially likes, as on Twitter/X);“ Because I don’t want to mess up my hair and makeup before work” with 13 upvotes,“ because I want to tf” with 8 upvotes, and“ because I don’t want to look ugly and damp like the rest of y’all” with 3 upvotes. My comment was,“ because I’m disabled and being wet and cold isn’t fun” and I got FIVE DOWNVOTES. Maybe I’m sensitive, but literally why? It takes more energy for a person to click downvote than to scroll. A queen can use an umbrella to protect her makeup, I respect that more than anything. Doing things you want because you want to and no other reason, I can respect that too. You don’t want to look damp? Sure. Why do people have to spend their energy coming at and disrespecting disabled people? The people who responded to me said“ Go back to Cali” and“ You’re being pretentious, everyone has to deal with the rain, you should just go to a different school.” Not only these, but people automatically asked questions like“ what does being disabled have to do with it?” Um, I don’t know, maybe because, when you’re disabled, it affects EVERY. PART. OF. YOUR. LIFE.
“Why do people have to spend their energy coming at and disrespecting disabled people?”
Why should I have to explain how it specifically affects me for you to understand that it does?
Like, yeah, the girlies need to protect their hair and serve face. That is such a widespread experience that so many women, nonbinary, and trans people deal with every day around the world. But so is disability. I feel like disabled people are so often forgotten, and pushed aside. I know it’s a downer compared to what the other people commented, but it was the true answer. Why is that so exhausting for other people to hear? How is my pain more annoying to you than it is to me? This feeling, of complaining my entire life with no one listening, of trying to fit in places where I’m not wanted, is essential to the girlhood that exists inside of me, and so many other people.
