fat is not a dirty word
Written by Indica Elizabeth
All images courtesy of Meghan Marshall
I’ve always been a big girl and it’s never been something that bothered me, but for some reason it’s always been something that other people seemed to hate. Growing up, I always wondered what it was about someone else’s body that could make someone so mad. Why does my body affect you? I’ve always found it strange how little representation there is in the media for plus sized people. And when I say that I mean real plus sized people; people that look like me. People with bumps and folds and not just perfect curves. Bodies come in all different shapes and sizes and they should all be represented. Representation matters so much. When I was a little girl I often wondered why there was no princess that looked like me. Why was there no book characters, or even TV show characters that looked like me?
It was always hard hearing about all my classmates going back-to-school shopping at places like Justice or Kohl’s. Anytime I would go into shops like that for clothes, they never had my size. I tried so many times in so many dressing rooms to force clothes on, that shopping quickly became something I dreaded. For years I refused to even step into a dressing room. I would much rather send a family member back to the store to return clothes that didn't fit than face the humiliation of stepping out of a dressing room all sweaty and covered in tear stains with no clothes to buy. Growing up around a society that hated bodies like mine quickly made me so insecure. For so long I covered my body up as much as I could. I was ashamed. I was bullied a lot, always hearing the words fat and gross constantly. I wasn’t fair on myself and I never let myself be happy with how I was.
When I turned 17, I was so depressed I knew I had to change something. I woke up early one day and looked up daily affirmations, journal entry ideas, self care hacks, and so on. I spent months learning to love and accept my body. To accept myself. A few months later, I finally allowed myself to buy my first crop top. I felt so beautiful in a way I had never felt before. After that I started to experiment with my clothing and I started to learn my real style with no limitations. I am still a big girl, but I'm still able to love myself. Fat is not a dirty word. To me, fat can be beautiful. It can be powerful and free. Being big isn't a bad thing at all. There are so many amazing things I can do as a bigger girl that I used to take for granted. Like my strength, I love being strong. I love being able to pick up my friends or help my family move houses. I love being big. I love being plus sized. I love being FAT.
The beauty that radiates off of someone that is truly comfortable with themselves and loves themselves is a beauty like no other. It's stunning. It's radiant. It’s hopeful. To anyone out there reading this, I beg you to love yourself. Allow yourself to take up space. Make mistakes, be human, have fun. Everyone is deserving of feeling comfortable in their skin.
