A Conversation with Eph See : Mixtape Review and Interview ⭐
Written by Jamilla Philson
Eph See is an independent non-binary artist based in NYC and boston, whose artistry bends the boundaries of genre and storytelling in their upcoming mixtape release xoxo, eph, set to release November 15th. Their new release serves as a collection of songs they’ve created and amassed (some even dating as far back as 2021), that serve as mile markers of their life regardless of theme, genre, or style; fabricating something that is entirely their own, and even more entirely worth listening to. Warm melodic acoustics blend with synthy dance hits and experimental rap tracks. Eph See’s mixtape perfectly encapsulates the intersection between music that is personally intimate yet describes the universal emotions we all know and feel. With the juxtaposition in this composition, Eph See beautifully conveys the undulating joys and disappointments of adolescence, love, and life. In this interview, I explore more about the mixtape and Eph See as an artist.
Q1: Hi Eph See! How has your upbringing as well as your background in majoring in music revolutionized your sound and vision as an artist?
A: I feel like in my upbringing music discovery was such a big part of it because of my two older sisters and my young aunt. In the early 2000s, they would burn CDs of their favorite music and then give them to me and my sisters. So I was getting My Chemical Romance and emo bands from my aunt and then really getting into the alternative, especially indie, pop of the 2010s, from my older sister: Tegan and Sara, Santigold, and Grimes.There was just so much music around me from the other people in my life who love music as well, which influenced my taste in music and was a big part of how I started writing music as well as emulating it. I was listening to so many different artists so it just kind of became this amalgamation of all those things.
I'm glad that I didn't go to a music school specifically because I got to be around STEM majors and people of all different fields and stuff which I think helped with my musical practice because the more diverse of an experience you get, the cooler the art, I feel. My college also had a really cool DIY music scene, so I had a lot of space to experiment and chances to perform and open for really cool artists because of the student-led programming there.
Q2: What have you learned most about yourself through writing and creating music?
A: I feel like I've learned everything that I know about myself from that deep dive, especially with the way I write music and the kind of medicine it is for me. I grew up as a kid that had feelings that were bigger than my body, all this sensitivity, and not really knowing where to put it. Then, I signed up for music classes, and I had teachers who really helped me foster my musical ability and praised me for expressing myself, which is something that I didn't really experience outside of my arts classes.
“i grew up as a kid that had feelings that were bigger than my body, all this sensitivity, and not really knowing where to put it.”
I feel like I've learned [how to] lean into my emotionality and know that I no longer want to be afraid of any part of who I am, even the kind of sometimes darker, yucky feeling stuff that we don't really touch or don't want to look at. That's exactly what I want to bring to light, so that it can get the love that it needs. Oftentimes, that self exploration is what helps the listener do that for themselves too. So I also feel a responsibility to make sure that I am going there and I am going that deep.
Q3: What is it about music that you feel the most passionate about?
A: It's always been there. I feel like music got me through some really tough times, especially growing up and being bullied for who I am and exploring my queer identity and how that ruffles feathers with people. I feel like music has always been a healing balm of sorts, whether it was, amplifying joy when I listen to a song that makes me feel good or feeling less alone or when I'm like“ oh my god this sucks” and I feel I'm the only person who's ever felt this way. And then you listen to an artist who's written a song, put it out there, done that vulnerable work, and you I'm like“ okay this person has been through that and they seem like they're doing pretty okay now”, so maybe I can get there too.
Also community. Music has always been a constant and when I found out that I could make it as well, my love grew. I feel this responsibility to make sure I'm doing my art justice because I do want it to reach people and help them the way that it has helped me to pay it forward, since music has done wonders for my life.
Q4: Can you talk about the process of creating the mixtape?
A: The mixtape is a bunch of songs that I've just been sitting on and I feel like releasing this mixtape is very much a mission of sorts that I've had for myself. But all of the songs that I put on there I really love the songwriting and there's songs that I'm proud of but either didn't make it onto other projects, or I couldn't find a producer that I wanted to work with on it. I've been sitting on some of these songs since 2021. But to me I want to affirm to myself that the music worth being heard isn't just music that is fully polished or industry standard / what Spotify algorithms would say is going to perform well. Because I feel that's just going down a rabbit hole and loop that I've run around so much in my career and [it’s] stopped me from putting out music. I also want to make a promise to myself and do this for myself to show that I value my work enough, regardless of how someone else is going to think [of it]. If I like this song and I want to put it out, I'm going to put it out. And then it's closing that chapter. I've released this, it's now in the world's hands of whoever is going to listen to it, and then I can work on other stuff.
Q5: I love the juxtaposition in sound some of the songs go through, whether it feels very melancholic like“ Cowboy Tune” and dancey club music like “idontwannalivewithoutyou”, in that, If you were to create a new genre to describe this mixtape and your music, what would it be?
A: It was music that I made when I allowed myself to be unrestricted. So maybe unrestricted. For the song, however that message needed to get out, I was gonna let it happen. So“ save me from my wicked ways” wasn't meant to be a pop song, it was meant to be old school mindless freestyle rap.“ Cowboy tune” wasn't meant to be an R&B song, it was meant to be like a Western. To fully get that message across in the most potent and effective way, it had to sound like that. Where I’m at in songwriting in general is, I can write in any genre and I enjoy that flexibility, but it’s [more about] how can I be of service to the message that I'm trying to put out.
Q6: I hear a lot of influences like Charli XCX and The 1975, as well as Coco and Clair Clair. Who are some of your influences in the sound of your new project?
A: The first album that popped into my head was Desire, I Want To Turn Into You by Caroline Polachek. When she dropped that and I listened to that album, I was like okay, the artists are doing weird shit again. We're setting out to make music that you cannot hear anywhere else, that has not been made before, we're ditching the formula. So, even if it's not sonically similar to that album I think the intention, and artists who are creating with that intention I really vibe with these days. I’m a huge Muna fan, Willow Smith, The Japanese House, and BLACKSTARKIDS as well. Doechii and Noname we're also some inspirations for“ save me from my wicked ways.”
“we’re setting out to make music that you cannot hear anyone else, that has not been made before, we’re ditching the formula.”
Any weird alt black people making music is where I feel the most at home and I feel like they inspire me a lot because they tend to break out of the mold, especially because black artists are always put it into the urban category like R&B or Rap. Also something that inspires me is how I let myself be confusing to people.
Q7: Do you have a favorite underrated song off the mixtape and why?
A: I really [loved] the process of making“ Stefan.” I was inspired by the Kylie Minogue song“ Can’t Get You Out Of My Head”, which I think I heard for the first time when I played DJ Hero as a kid. But I wanted this very sleek kind of silvery club [vibe]; you've just made eye contact with someone across the room and the lights are blue and dim, like that kind of energy. I wrote it for a songwriting class for in college. I love the vocal layering and the kind of sleek, ethereal, borderline siren kind of energy. I feel like it lures you in. I'm really proud of it and can’t wait for people to hear that one.
Q8: What does it mean to you to be an independent non-binary artist in this industry today as far as your importance for you to take up space in this industry?
A: I feel like there's a deep need for a shock to the system, with new artists and new voices. Everybody benefits from hearing Black stories, hearing queer stories, hearing trans stories, and hearing non-binary stories. Because whether we're aware of it or not, there's so much messaging pushed to us that tells us those things are wrong which causes us, whether you belong to those identifier groups or not, to shut down parts of ourselves that are either aligned to that or mirror that.
A cishet man, for example, will completely shut down his emotionality because that is seen as femininity. The beautiful thing about art and music is that it's a mirror, and it will show you things that maybe you're not allowing yourself to express or that have been lying dormant, and will nudge and encourage you to turn it on, as scary as it might seem. I think music can be the catalyst for that and help people live from a more embodied place. And again feel less alone, feel seen, feel heard, feel like if there are certain spaces that they want to exist in, that they can make it there. Just wanting to exist and wanting everyone else to exist and show up fully as who they are, fully embodied and turn it up to 11 because that is what the world needs: [for] everyone to be who they are. In the most potent and physical sense, because if we were meant to be somebody else, we would already be those people. By being an artist and being non-binary and showing up fully as I am, that feels like I'm being a part of that movement and then encouraging other people to the same.
Q9: Where do you find your creative inspiration from?
A:My emotions and like their depth as well as their potency. Before I had this art form, it was really hard to deal with them. Also nature and observing. I think, throughout my life, I’ve been a very observant person sometimes to a fault. I understand the patterns and noticing the anomalies and the beautiful mishaps and miracles that happen every day. Sometimes I feel like I live and take all this information through my senses and then my art is what I project out, very much like a prism. Then I try to process it into something beautiful on the way out.
Q10: What is your niche or favorite music recommendation or album you've listened to recently?
A: I finally listened to Adventures in Paradise, Minnie Riperton's album, front to back. I love the song“ Inside My Love" off of it. A couple of weeks ago I saved it and wanted to come back to it and hear the song in context. Especially like albums from that time, I feel like we hear all the big singles, but there's like 13 other songs there. I definitely recommend it.
